I have been still struggling but in the last two days have made some important changes toward getting back in the game. I wish I had realized earlier that this wasn’t quite a “I want to
88.0 lbs Lost on WW to date
oof. That is a hard one to stomach. There is no denying it, I made poor choices this week. Some of them were for positive things. Like Date Night on Friday night to the St. Olaf Christmas Festival including a Norwegian buffet with many tasty once-a-year treats. (Lefse, not lutefisk)
Insulin is expensive.
Note to self: avoid diabetes.
Still no matter how you slice it, I fell down this week. I made poor choices. I chose to eat foods I shouldn’t have. I chose not to track. I seem to be incapable of doing things “part way.” I cannot just eat freely for one meal. One meal leads to two, to a day, to a week.
*Related: New WW Coupon: 50% off 3 Months
I cannot stop at one dessert. Or one spoon of peanut butter. Or a few chips.
However, all is not lost. It never is and there are always new choices to be made. So this week I am making good ones. I tracked and was solid all day long. I ate veggies, I drank water, I got in 10,000 steps despite (because of?) a 12 hour work day.
I can do better. I plan to.
In the wisdom of a fellow Fitblogger…
But hey I went and I weighed in anyway.
93.2 lbs Lost on WW to Date
With Thanksgiving and illness, sleep deprivation and lots going on, I saw this one coming. I am not terribly upset about it because I know that as frustrated as this week was I did most of my damage on Thurs/Fri while I was sick, traveling, had Thanksgiving, and dealing with a baby with an ear infection. The most important thing for me is that I did not throw in the towel. I wanted to, but I didn’t. Instead I kept tracking and I scaled back my eating to match my daily points.
I wasn’t perfect, but I rarely am.
“I will hold myself to a standard of GRACE, not perfection.”
I have been sad today. It is the kind of sad that finds me when I am beyond tired – a melancholy about people (myself primarily). I saw a person on Twitter belittle herself while posting a new “before” picture. While I don’t know her personally, the 140 characters implied that for her worth and weight are related. It made me sad.
I always get sad when I see someone who is a bit overweight and feels that it honestly effects their worth as a person. If that was true, I would still be worthless despite my weight loss. The person on Twitter was considerable smaller than I am now, likely 50+ lbs smaller, but the comparison is immaterial. Worth is not dependent on weight. Period. You are a beloved child of God. Chosen. Loved. Blessed. Worthy. And so am I.
A number on the scale doesn’t dictate anything but our weight. There are hosts of reasons to want to lose weight, but I don’t want anyone to think it is to become worthy of someone or something, or especially of God. Grace and love don’t work that way.
I gained. I am human, a tired human, but one who keeps on trying. If all I can say about this week is that I kept trying then I am doing just fine.
I am more confident because I had a strong week. I earned a few activity points, I used my weeklies, but didn’t go over those. I enjoyed myself, had a few treats and lots of veggies. I didn’t drink enough water. That is a real challenge for me lately as I am more and more looking to coffee (or tea) to keep me going with E2 still struggling for a good nights sleep (She has an ear infection now, and a lingering cold). I need to up the water intact, which I will try to work on while off for a few days.
Still, it was a good week.
95.6 lbs Lost on WW to Date
It is fun to be so close to 100 lbs on Weight Watchers. Before I got pregnant with E2 I was plateaued and had gained a few lbs back so I was hovering between 70-75lbs lost. There is still a ways to go, but it is really amazing to be here so far. I really hope to make it to 100lbs lost before my 1 year WW-iversary. If I stay strong through the holidays that shouldn’t be a problem.
95 lbs is tough to put into perspective, but it is 19
Weight Watchers Weigh In: I just at dinner at 10:15 at night, so you can tell it has been a long day. So I am going to keep this short and sweet. Thank you for the encouragement and feedback
90.6 lbs Lost on WW to date
Yes, two pounds is disappointing but there are a lot of bright spots in this gain.
It was ONLY two pounds. With great weight loss comes the potential for great weight gain. That it is only 2 lbs shows me that my efforts to regroup were partially successful.
I tracked it even on my worst eating days this week. There have been times when slipping up means not tracking and having a free-for-all for days, instead I kept tracking despite my eating.
I ended the week strong and in control. Tuesday I stayed in my daily points and I kept an eye on things. I was back on track BEFORE my weigh in rather than giving up on the week and waiting to start over.
Any of these alone is a NSV, the fact that all three are true is an indicator of how far I’ve come. The other thing that I should point out is a lack of shame. I tend to look at guilt and shame as different things. I can feel guilty for something I have done. Guilt is an emotion tied to my actions. Shame on the other hand seems to be tied to my person. Guilt can help me notice and change my behavior for the future, shame is just a form of self-hate more detrimental than helpful to me.
There have been times when failure leads me to be shamed, i.e. I am somehow not a good person because I failed. That seems to be a type of thinking that is fading away for me. Sure, it rears its ugly head from time to time, but mostly I know it is a lie. I have worth, no matter my weight or my successes or failures.
So I had a gain this week. It happened, I caused it. Now I will remedy it. Here is to having a great week this week!
Weight Watchers Weigh-IN Week 42 | WW Weigh-IN Week 44
Though I started Weight Watchers in January and us that initial weigh in as a starting weight I also have the weigh in on the morning of my c-section with E2. I gained way too much weight with her, partially because I was stressed and ate emotionally, partially because constant eating kept me from getting sick, partially from bedrest/water retention and the sheer fact my body does not do pregnancy well.
I am going to be so bold as to throw some real numbers out at you today because I think this week deserves to be celebrated for my year’s efforts.
This week’s result:
– 8.5 Pounds
BUT that is not all! Take a look at some of this data.
- Weight on 11/7/13 (E2′s birth day): 382lbs
- Weight on 1/8/14 when I started WW: 347.6lbs
- Weight on 11/5/14: 255lbs
I was diligent this week about tracking, so diligent in fact that I had -7 points left in the week. Yes, I ate a bit too much but I tracked it anyway. I also drank a lot of water this week and started moving (albeit slowly) again after the 3-day walk. I anticipated I would lose some weight, simply from water weight and inflammation from the 3-day. What I got was this:
78.8 lbs Lost on WW to Date
Go home scale, you are drunk.
Seriously? I don’t even know how that happens. No matter what we say about calories in/calories out sometimes my body is just a mystery too me. Still I am THRILLED with the weight loss. It sort of erased the bad scale of August and I am down officially lower than I was when I got pregnant. Still being in the 260s now, while amazing, is still only part of the way (weigh) to go. But it is a big part. I even got my WW 75lb washer for my charm key-fob.
I am also very excited to be back on a fall routine. E1 started Kindergarten this week and 2 days in is loving it. I am also loving that I have a regular schedule to follow for my family. There will still be craziness, too much to do, and such, but at least it is some what predictable now. That helps my eating so much.
I suppose I should show you a full body shot since I haven’t in a while for comparison. Despite the giant loss it has been a long work day and I am feeling puffy but it seems like a good time to do it (i.e. Mr Goat was still up so I could make him take a photo of me).
Parts of my definitely feel smaller, and I am enjoying my waist emerging. I am frustrated that my pants sizes are not changing as quickly – or that fit is still a hard luxury to find. I am going to be in trouble when i need to start wearing pants as I am not sure I have any that fit me right now.
Thankfully skirts are forgiving. Other parts develop other issues as I get smaller however. E1 likes to “flap” my wings (my loose arm skin). He thinks it is hilarious and when I ask him not to it just seems funnier to him, while I am mortified inside. On the one hand I am proud of them, but I wish he didn’t notice them.
I think an important lesson to me is that there will ALWAYS be something you don’t love about your body, and there will always be parts that you like. Weight might change what your favorites are but you will always have areas of your body that are not appealing to you. Still, I am not in this for beauty, I am in this for health. If I was overly concerned about beauty I would wear makeup!
I don’t want to make too big a deal over this week’s weigh in, just as I didn’t want to worry about last week’s too much. I just want to keep tracking my food and see the scale continue to move in a general downward trend.
Until next week my friends, keep on tracking!
Have you ever… had to drink Gatorade for 3 days straight. It is literally forced on you at pit stops every 3 miles – for good hydration reasons?
Have you ever… finished a physical event sore and elated and proceeded to justify all sorts of delicious foods.
Have you ever… had that spiral into a 2 day Eat-anything-you-want Fest?
Have you ever… had a birthday during that time too?
If you have then your weigh in might have gone like mine this week. Boo.
-62.2 lbs on WW to date
oof. I didn’t expect it to be good. I am not a fool after all. I know I ate crap and I know that I am probably still retaining water and salt from the weekend too. I also know that no good choices happen at the chinese buffet and that Birthdays are not an excuse to give up on healthy eating.
I know it and I ignored what I know.
That is what you get.
I am….bummed. I wanted to have a loss to go with my amazing walk this weekend, but I got lazy with it. Perhaps I was lazy with food out of rebellion from the effort that the 3-day took on me. Perhaps I was close to the edge already.
I will say some things in my favor however. Life is not all about the scale after all.
I had an amazing experience at the 3-day and walked roughly 48 miles
The x-ray of my knee shows no concerns. There isn’t enough swelling or pain right now to justify an MRI either. So good news there.
I went to weigh in today and stayed for the WW meeting. (what to expect at your first WW meeting) I tracked again today.
I will leave you with a favorite quotation of mine, and one that I am living right now:
Courage does not always ROAR, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of
Still, it was a bad week. Dropping the 7 points I was hungry a lot. I held my own with weekly points and my daily points until Monday when I went into a full blown pity party, stress-eating food binge.
It wasn’t pretty and while it was mostly over on Monday it did care over onto Tuesday some as well. As a result I was majorly in the hole point-wise for the week and it was too late in the week to make up the deficit with activity.
So I was up.
71 lbs lost on WW to date
Like I said, it is not pretty. Still I did have some successes this week. For one I tracked my entire binge. This was a hard thing to do but it does show me that I didn’t completely give up while I was in eating mode. Secondly, I had several social events this weekend and I tracked and made mostly good choices there. I even hosted people in my house and managed not to eat my entire table of snacks. Both these are signs that I have come a long way.
The gain is a gut-wrencher, but I earned it by eating and letting myself wallow in being stressed. Thankfully I have a new week and a new opportunity to make this a good one.
*Coupon: Weight Watchers: Today’s Best Deal
With my 60 mile 3-Day walk on Fri, Sat, Sun – I am not yet sure how best to track the food there. I will have to play it by ear. I do know my activity will be sky high so I am not too worried about it. I also have to navigate my birthday on Tuesday (naturally the day before WW weigh in). I do plan to have cake and am going to do my best to manage my points to keep enough for Tues.
Weight loss happens in real life, and real life can be messy. This was a particularly messy week for me, but I am still working and trying. In the end, that is what we have to do when we fall – pick ourselves up and start again.
Next: WW Weigh-In Week 32
What if I fail at this? What if I can’t keep up the Disney necessary pace. What if I can’t save the money to get out there to run? What if?
Add to this the fact that I had a gain this week and I am feeling like hiding under the covers from the world today. The gain is frustrating because it could have gone either way. I tracked WW points and worked hard to get my July goal miles in (I managed 25 this week – counting via fitbit which is the most accurate tracking I have).
On the other hand I have the heat, the sodium of processed camp food, the less water than I should as well as some hormonal assistance (ahem) adding to things. So it really could have gone either way.
However it went the “wrong” way.
62.4 lbs Lost to Date
I think I may have slammed into a plateau of sorts. My body seems to be gaining and losing the same 2 lbs right now. It is time to focus on really clean eating and tracking EVERY bite (and measuring rather than estimating). In addition I am going to have to up the workouts. I don’t feel I am in a crisis spot yet, but I want to get out of the 280s and keep a regular trend in the right direction. There is no reason I should not be able to lose something for the next several weeks. It is up to me.
As frustrating as a gain can be I cannot dwell on it too much. If I gave up I KNOW that I would gain weight. If I keep trying I will get it off, it just might take awhile. I get frustrated because I know I can lose several pounds in a week so I think it should always happen.
Sometimes however our bodies have minds of our own. As someone at FitBloggin said, “You cannot control what the scale does, you can just control what you do – how you eat and how you workout. So I will work on the things I can control.”
But I really hope I have a better number next week.
< Weight Watchers Weigh In Week 24 | WW Meeting Week 26 >