Weight Watchers Weigh In, Week 59: This week was nutty. Just in part it included: MIL in the hospital and us spending time trying to help the family, E2’s tube surgery – which went well but meant a day off, Communion Instruction retreat to teach, my parents coming into town, an overnight ER trip with E1 for an asthma reaction to a cold, working full time and throwing a birthday party for 9 kids at a bowling alley. Oh and trying to clean my house, eat right, get my work done at my job as well as all my other jobs.

In fact, when WordPress ate a post all about this on Sunday night I just gave up and went to bed. I meant to get back to post, but I’m still just playing catch up. Despite ALL of that going on, I did have an ok week. Yes, I ate birthday cake (and a birthday cupcake).

In fact I had sweets far more often this week than normal. HOWEVER, I tracked all the Weight Watchers points and factored everything into the rest of my eating too. As a result, while I used my weekly WW points, I did not go off the rails and I still lost weight this week.

-0.6 Pounds
99.2 lbs Lost on WW to Date (133.6 lbs Lost total)

Boom. Go me!

To have the week I had and still stay on track is HUGE for me. HUGE. To have cake and to compensate by making other good choices is huge. To not emotionally eat out of exhaustion, anxiety or stress….huge.

And to realize that I am currently the smallest weight I have ever been since at LEAST my sophomore year of college (maybe earlier)….HUGE

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It blows my mind to think of myself as being under 250lbs (just barely but under nonetheless). I spent so much of my adult life trying to stay under 350 (because that was somehow better at least – a sign of not totally giving in to food).

I enjoy being this weight so far and am still planning to lose more but we are quickly coming to uncharted territory. I am a size away from my “small” high school size. I am now at weights that I don’t remember seeing because it was at an age where that number was so horrific to me that I couldn’t face the scale without crying. Now here I am facing those same numbers and cheering.

In between those times I’ve learned to love myself, no matter what the scale says, and I truly think that helps manage this weight loss roller coaster immensely. My worth is not caught up in a number on a scale. I use it to help measure my success because I want to be healthy but not because I want to satisfy some ideal of beauty.

Maybe it is easier for me. I have always been an introvert, a geek, a bandie, an academic, a weird person. I am used to not quite fitting in, and I wear my awkwardness with pride (most of the time). I rarely ascribe to things society tells me I should do, be, like or wear.

I chose what I like. In that way, I don’t have to fight for some unattainable goal, but can focus on being the best me I can be. Right now that involves weight loss. Hopefully someday it doesn’t, but that is still a ways away.

No matter what I can look at my pictures to day and say to myself, “Yes, I am really doing something amazing.”

WW Meeting Week 58 | WW Meeting Week 60