I am feeling intimidated. I think it is a natural fight or flight response of an introverted blogger in response to a big announcement. For me the thought of running (completing) is entirely daunting. Everyone is so excited for me, and I am super excited and also terrified. Super terrified.
What if I fail at this? What if I can’t keep up the Disney necessary pace. What if I can’t save the money to get out there to run? What if?
Add to this the fact that I had a gain this week and I am feeling like hiding under the covers from the world today. The gain is frustrating because it could have gone either way. I tracked WW points and worked hard to get my July goal miles in (I managed 25 this week – counting via fitbit which is the most accurate tracking I have).
On the other hand I have the heat, the sodium of processed camp food, the less water than I should as well as some hormonal assistance (ahem) adding to things. So it really could have gone either way.
However it went the “wrong” way.
62.4 lbs Lost to Date
I think I may have slammed into a plateau of sorts. My body seems to be gaining and losing the same 2 lbs right now. It is time to focus on really clean eating and tracking EVERY bite (and measuring rather than estimating). In addition I am going to have to up the workouts. I don’t feel I am in a crisis spot yet, but I want to get out of the 280s and keep a regular trend in the right direction. There is no reason I should not be able to lose something for the next several weeks. It is up to me.
As frustrating as a gain can be I cannot dwell on it too much. If I gave up I KNOW that I would gain weight. If I keep trying I will get it off, it just might take awhile. I get frustrated because I know I can lose several pounds in a week so I think it should always happen.
Sometimes however our bodies have minds of our own. As someone at FitBloggin said, “You cannot control what the scale does, you can just control what you do – how you eat and how you workout. So I will work on the things I can control.”
But I really hope I have a better number next week.
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