Weight Watchers Weigh-In: My morning did not go well. I was up until 3am with E2. She wasn’t up, unless I put her down and then she was inconsolable. I honestly don’t know if it is teeth, her ear still, a lingering cold or just wanting to see if mom will crack. (kidding, mostly) Then I over slept, we missed E1′s bus so I drove him to school. Because of being late I didn’t get to pump and was 20 minutes late to my Weight Watchers meeting.
But hey I went and I weighed in anyway.
93.2 lbs Lost on WW to Date
With Thanksgiving and illness, sleep deprivation and lots going on, I saw this one coming. I am not terribly upset about it because I know that as frustrated as this week was I did most of my damage on Thurs/Fri while I was sick, traveling, had Thanksgiving, and dealing with a baby with an ear infection. The most important thing for me is that I did not throw in the towel. I wanted to, but I didn’t. Instead I kept tracking and I scaled back my eating to match my daily points.
I wasn’t perfect, but I rarely am.
“I will hold myself to a standard of GRACE, not perfection.”
I have been sad today. It is the kind of sad that finds me when I am beyond tired – a melancholy about people (myself primarily). I saw a person on Twitter belittle herself while posting a new “before” picture. While I don’t know her personally, the 140 characters implied that for her worth and weight are related. It made me sad.
I always get sad when I see someone who is a bit overweight and feels that it honestly effects their worth as a person. If that was true, I would still be worthless despite my weight loss. The person on Twitter was considerable smaller than I am now, likely 50+ lbs smaller, but the comparison is immaterial. Worth is not dependent on weight. Period. You are a beloved child of God. Chosen. Loved. Blessed. Worthy. And so am I.
A number on the scale doesn’t dictate anything but our weight. There are hosts of reasons to want to lose weight, but I don’t want anyone to think it is to become worthy of someone or something, or especially of God. Grace and love don’t work that way.
I gained. I am human, a tired human, but one who keeps on trying. If all I can say about this week is that I kept trying then I am doing just fine.